I’m Working On It.

It’s a funny feeling, sort of, when you think you’ve overcome your biggest obstacle of the day by 9:30 am, only to realize that your “biggest obstacle”, was really just the calm before the storm.

Today, I went through a roller coaster of emotions ranging from elation to anger back to laughter and then back to a low, all before I had my afternoon tea.

I keep thinking back to all of the amazing coping mechanisms that have been shared with me from friends like Louise Aspden (The Positive Coach) or Jen CB (Believe in your Dream) but all of these feelings flooded me so quickly, I think my so called acquired coping mechanisms actually drowned themselves. So what have I learned from today:

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me

This is one of the first things we learn after a hard days’ work, in grade 1. I don’t know if I knew how important that would be – there were less tears then. It proved truthful today.

I like to think I have built enough character and trust with those I work with – afterall I have some pretty deep rooted core values. I believe in honesty & transparency – if you have a question, you’re probably going to get the most candid answer from me. My personal integrity is worth more to me than any paycheque could bring. A close second to integrity, is accountability. If you show me where I’ve made the mistake, I’m happy to learn from it, apologize, accept that I, too, am not perfect, and move on. That’s the journey of life and business. So what could have possibly gone so wrong.

Well, first and foremost, I made a mistake. I didn’t do my due diligence and I started in a venture that I could have never predicted how it would end. What’s worse, I over-trusted someone and I let them use my name to be the face of the project while everything else was being “taken care of”. I trusted that if I provided A, then B would simply follow. I was sold a bill of goods. I mentioned it before, but I am HUGE on accountability, and so I put myself in a position to be accountable for something  that I had no control over. The personal toll this took on me has affected more than what you see on the surface.

So today, after speaking with so many people that I have had the pleasure working with, some of whom have supported me since day one, I was relieved to know most of them hadn’t wavered when my credibitlity and character were called into question and personally attacked. In light of being transparent, I answered any and all questions, hopefully put to rest their concerns, and some I was able to share a laugh with.

Side note: I haven’t been great at keeping up with the 7 horoscope Apps I have on my phone, but over the past two days I’ve taken some time for some quick and harmless reading. Today was rather inspiring:
“You’re feeling quite confused about something that seems bigger than it really is and your best bet is almost certainly to just chill out and let it proceed however it’s going to proceed. Act later.”
I can’t control what someone says or thinks about me, but I can control how I react and respond. I have never been so graceful in my life.

As of October 18th, 2016, I resigned my positions with the company I named, created, marketed and charmed into the world of specialty advertising. They say you never forget your first – I certainly won’t.
Tomorrow I embark on a new journey in the same industry, with a familiar team and a brand that even I can’t bring down (see, we’re already making jokes about it). I think being on my own taught me a lot – too much to write about in one post. Importantly, I learned that I could be alone, I just don’t want to be.

Looking forward to a new chapter, and stepping through the door that never closed behind me two years ago.
#girlworkinprogress

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